This or that questions are one of the simplest ways to get kids talking. Two choices, one answer, no wrong responses. They work at the dinner table, on long car rides, in waiting rooms, at bedtime, or anywhere a kid needs something to do with their brain for five minutes.
The 300 questions below are organized by theme. Each of the 15 categories has 20 questions, so you can pull one at random or stay inside a topic your kid is already into. Everything is written for ages 5 to 9, the window where kids have the vocabulary to explain their choices but still find “pizza or pasta?” thrilling.
If you have played would you rather questions with your kids, this or that is the quicker cousin. Same idea, shorter format, no complicated setups. Easier for younger kids, still engaging for older ones.
How to Play
There is one rule: ask the question, let your child choose, then ask why.
The “why” is the whole game. “Chocolate or strawberry?” is the warmup. “Why chocolate?” is the actual conversation. Most kids will happily explain their reasoning, and that is where you learn how their brain is working right now. What they are noticing. What they are scared of. What they secretly want.
Play one question at dinner. Play twenty in a row on a road trip. Play three before bed. There is no right dose.
A few tips that make the game better:
• Start with easy, fun categories like food or animals before moving into harder ones like feelings or big choices.
• Answer the questions too. Kids engage better when it is a real back and forth, not an interview.
• If your kid gets stuck, offer a third option or rephrase. “I do not know” is sometimes the most honest answer, and that is fine.
• Follow the tangent when one appears. The question is just a doorway. Where your kid goes next is the interesting part.
1. Food and Drink
Questions about what kids eat, crave, and claim they hate. A good warmup category because every kid has strong opinions about lunch.
1. Pizza or pasta?
2. Ice cream cone or popsicle?
3. Chocolate or vanilla?
4. Pancakes or waffles?
5. Burgers or hot dogs?
6. Apples or bananas?
7. Mac and cheese or grilled cheese?
8. Cereal or toast for breakfast?
9. French fries or tater tots?
10. Chocolate chip cookies or brownies?
11. Strawberries or blueberries?
12. Milk or juice?
13. Popcorn or chips?
14. Hot chocolate or lemonade?
15. Cake or cupcakes?
16. Spaghetti or ramen?
17. Watermelon or pineapple?
18. Peanut butter and jelly or ham and cheese?
19. Ketchup or mustard?
20. Pickles or olives?
2. Animals
From pets to zoo animals to weird creatures no one has seen in real life. Kids ages 5 to 9 usually have a favorite animal they will defend for years.
21. Dog or cat?
22. Lion or tiger?
23. Dolphin or shark?
24. Elephant or giraffe?
25. Bunny or hamster?
26. Eagle or owl?
27. Monkey or sloth?
28. Horse or cow?
29. Turtle or frog?
30. Bear or wolf?
31. Penguin or polar bear?
32. Butterfly or ladybug?
33. Snake or lizard?
34. Goldfish or parrot?
35. Kangaroo or koala?
36. Octopus or jellyfish?
37. Cheetah or gazelle?
38. Pig or goat?
39. Chicken or duck?
40. Crocodile or rhino?
3. Adventures and Travel
The places and trips kids imagine when someone says "what do you want to do this summer?"
41. Beach or mountains?
42. Zoo or aquarium?
43. Camping in a tent or staying in a cabin?
44. Airplane or train?
45. Theme park or water park?
46. Road trip or plane trip?
47. Exploring a cave or climbing a mountain?
48. Big city or small town?
49. Desert or rainforest?
50. Boat or helicopter?
51. Safari or snorkeling trip?
52. Castle or treehouse?
53. Hot air balloon or submarine?
54. Campfire or fireworks?
55. Hiking or biking?
56. Island or snow-covered village?
57. Swimming pool or ocean?
58. Museum or science center?
59. New York City or Disney World?
60. Visiting grandparents or going somewhere brand new?
4. Imagination and Magic
Made-up worlds, magical creatures, and the what-ifs that kids ages 5 to 9 still take completely seriously.
61. Dragons or unicorns?
62. Wizards or knights?
63. Fairies or mermaids?
64. Magic wand or invisibility cloak?
65. Pirate ship or spaceship?
66. Flying carpet or broomstick?
67. Talking animals or talking toys?
68. Tooth fairy or Santa?
69. Elves or trolls?
70. Secret door or secret tunnel?
71. Magic lamp or magic mirror?
72. Giant or tiny person?
73. Castle with a moat or cloud city?
74. Crystal ball or wishing well?
75. Potion maker or spell caster?
76. Talking tree or talking rock?
77. Magical forest or underwater kingdom?
78. Friendly ghost or friendly monster?
79. Time traveler or mind reader?
80. Living in a storybook or living in a video game?
5. School and Friends
Classroom, playground, recess, and the kids they see every day. This category often uncovers how your child feels about school in general.
81. Math or reading?
82. Art class or gym class?
83. Recess or lunch?
84. Best friend or a big group of friends?
85. Sitting at the front or the back of the classroom?
86. Inside recess or outside recess?
87. Writing with a pencil or a pen?
88. Field trip or class party?
89. Homework right after school or after dinner?
90. Reading a book or watching a movie in class?
91. Working alone or working in a group?
92. Playing tag or playing on the swings?
93. Library or music room?
94. Bringing lunch or getting hot lunch?
95. New kid in class or new kid yourself?
96. Show and tell or free draw time?
97. Science experiments or art projects?
98. Spelling bee or math test?
99. Having the teacher read aloud or reading on your own?
100. A best friend in your class or a best friend in a different class?
6. Sports and Games
What kids play when they have a ball, a board, or nothing but a backyard.
101. Soccer or basketball?
102. Swimming or biking?
103. Tag or hide and seek?
104. Board games or video games?
105. Baseball or football?
106. Monopoly or Uno?
107. Skateboarding or scooter?
108. Gymnastics or martial arts?
109. Jump rope or hopscotch?
110. Tennis or ping pong?
111. Ice skating or roller skating?
112. Chess or checkers?
113. Tug of war or arm wrestling?
114. Bowling or mini golf?
115. Trampoline or pool?
116. Catch or frisbee?
117. Obstacle course or scavenger hunt?
118. Running race or swimming race?
119. Dodgeball or kickball?
120. Indoor games or outdoor games?
7. Silly and Gross
Jokes, disgusting things, and the questions that make five year olds fall off their chairs laughing.
121. Burps or farts?
122. Slime or Play-Doh?
123. Knock-knock jokes or fart jokes?
124. Eating a worm or eating a spider?
125. Stepping in mud or stepping in gum?
126. Smelly feet or bad breath?
127. Silly dance or funny face?
128. Getting pied in the face or slipping on a banana peel?
129. Boogers or belly button lint?
130. Whoopie cushion or fake spider?
131. A pet skunk or a pet porcupine?
132. Talking in a silly voice or walking in a silly way?
133. Tickle fight or pillow fight?
134. A bathtub full of pudding or a bathtub full of jelly?
135. Mismatched socks or shoes on the wrong feet?
136. Sneezing with your eyes open or burping the alphabet?
137. Chocolate-covered broccoli or broccoli-flavored chocolate?
138. A mustache made of spaghetti or eyebrows made of worms?
139. Clown nose or giant bow tie?
140. Laughing so hard you cry or laughing so hard you snort?
8. Seasons and Holidays
Weather, birthdays, and the times of year kids mark their lives by.
141. Summer or winter?
142. Spring or fall?
143. Christmas or birthday?
144. Snowman or sandcastle?
145. Sunny day or rainy day?
146. Halloween or Easter?
147. Fourth of July or New Year’s Eve?
148. Trick-or-treating or Easter egg hunt?
149. Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas dinner?
150. Fireworks or sparklers?
151. Opening presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
152. Snowball fight or water balloon fight?
153. Hot summer day or warm autumn day?
154. Pumpkin pie or apple pie?
155. Decorating the tree or baking cookies?
156. Raking leaves or shoveling snow?
157. Valentine’s Day cards or Halloween candy?
158. Sledding or ice skating?
159. Flying a kite or swimming in a pool?
160. Cozy up by the fire or play in the snow?
9. Superpowers and Wishes
The fantasy powers kids ages 5 to 9 spend hours arguing about on the playground.
161. Flying or invisibility?
162. Super speed or super strength?
163. Reading minds or predicting the future?
164. Talking to animals or talking to plants?
165. Shape-shifting or teleporting?
166. Controlling weather or controlling fire?
167. Freezing time or rewinding time?
168. Being a superhero or being a wizard?
169. Super hearing or super sight?
170. Breathing underwater or breathing fire?
171. Walking through walls or climbing any surface?
172. Making yourself tiny or making yourself huge?
173. Healing others or giving yourself endless energy?
174. Summoning any food or summoning any toy?
175. Having a pet dragon or a pet phoenix?
176. Super smart or super lucky?
177. Never needing sleep or never needing food?
178. Turning invisible for a day or being famous for a day?
179. Making rain or making snow whenever you want?
180. Having one big wish or three small wishes?
10. Family and Home
Siblings, parents, pets, houses, and the everyday details of where your kid lives.
181. Big house or tiny cozy house?
182. Older sibling or younger sibling?
183. Pet dog or pet cat?
184. Bunk bed or regular bed?
185. Living in the city or living in the country?
186. Backyard with a trampoline or backyard with a pool?
187. Family game night or family movie night?
188. Cooking with mom or baking with dad?
189. Riding in the car with the windows down or up?
190. Messy room or clean room?
191. Sleeping with a night light or in total darkness?
192. Sharing a bedroom or having your own?
193. Pancakes on Saturday or pancakes on Sunday?
194. Living near the beach or living near the mountains?
195. Pet fish or pet bird?
196. Big family dinner or small quiet dinner?
197. Grandma’s house or grandpa’s house?
198. Swing in the backyard or tree to climb?
199. Living in a treehouse or living in an RV?
200. Moving to a new house or staying where you are forever?
11. Music and Art
Making things, listening to things, and the kind of creative play kids return to on their own.
201. Singing or dancing?
202. Drawing or painting?
203. Playing the piano or playing the drums?
204. Coloring books or blank paper?
205. Crayons or markers?
206. Stickers or glitter?
207. Making up a song or making up a dance?
208. Guitar or violin?
209. Building with Legos or building with clay?
210. Listening to music or watching music videos?
211. Pencil drawing or watercolor painting?
212. Karaoke or solo singing in your room?
213. Making a craft or making a comic?
214. Playing in a band or playing alone?
215. Finger painting or brush painting?
216. Loud music or quiet music?
217. Making a friendship bracelet or making a keychain?
218. Doodling in a notebook or drawing on big paper?
219. Singing in the shower or singing on a stage?
220. Music class or art class?
12. Books and Stories
Reading, listening, making up stories, and the characters kids get attached to.
221. Picture books or chapter books?
222. Reading alone or being read to?
223. Funny stories or scary stories?
224. Adventure stories or mystery stories?
225. Fairy tales or superhero comics?
226. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson?
227. Dr. Seuss or Roald Dahl?
228. Ebook on a tablet or real paper book?
229. Short story or long story?
230. Happy ending or surprise ending?
231. Reading at bedtime or reading in the morning?
232. Library or bookstore?
233. Making up your own story or hearing someone else’s?
234. Stories about animals or stories about kids?
235. Dog Man or Diary of a Wimpy Kid?
236. Reading in your room or reading in a fort?
237. Writing a story or telling a story out loud?
238. Bookmark or folding the corner?
239. Audiobook or paper book?
240. One big thick book or three short books?
13. Nature and Outdoors
Weather, plants, dirt, and what happens when kids go outside and stay there for a while.
241. Beach or forest?
242. Collecting rocks or collecting shells?
243. Climbing trees or digging in the dirt?
244. Catching bugs or watching birds?
245. Hiking or swimming in a lake?
246. Planting flowers or planting vegetables?
247. Rainbow or sunset?
248. Picking apples or picking strawberries?
249. Campfire stories or stargazing?
250. Mountain stream or ocean waves?
251. Butterflies or fireflies?
252. Walking barefoot in grass or walking barefoot in sand?
253. Pine trees or palm trees?
254. Seeing a deer or seeing a fox?
255. Splashing in puddles or jumping in leaves?
256. Building a fort from sticks or a fort from snow?
257. Morning hike or evening walk?
258. Watching a rainstorm or watching snowfall?
259. Feeding ducks or watching squirrels?
260. Volcano or canyon?
14. Pretend and Dress-Up
Costumes, roles, and the worlds kids construct when no grown-ups are watching.
261. Superhero costume or princess costume?
262. Pirate or ninja?
263. Dress like an animal or dress like a monster?
264. Playing doctor or playing teacher?
265. Astronaut or deep-sea diver?
266. King or queen?
267. Detective or spy?
268. Vampire or werewolf?
269. Cowboy or knight?
270. Chef or explorer?
271. Fashion designer or movie director?
272. Pretend to be an adult or pretend to be a baby?
273. Dress as your favorite character or invent a brand new one?
274. Wearing a cape or wearing a crown?
275. Face paint or a full costume?
276. Acting in a play or putting on a puppet show?
277. Ballerina or football player?
278. Robot or alien?
279. Having a pretend kitchen or a pretend store?
280. Playing school at home or playing house at home?
15. Feelings and Big Choices
The questions that move past fun and into something real. These are the ones that open the door to actual conversation. Best used after a few easy categories have warmed your child up.
281. Being brave or being kind?
282. Being smart or being funny?
283. Helping a friend or helping a stranger?
284. Being the leader or being part of the team?
285. Winning or making sure everyone has fun?
286. Telling the truth or keeping a secret?
287. Being the oldest or being the youngest?
288. Having one close friend or lots of friends?
289. Being famous or being rich?
290. Being really good at one thing or okay at many things?
291. Saying sorry first or waiting for the other person?
292. Taking a risk or playing it safe?
293. Quiet alone time or busy family time?
294. Knowing what happens next or being surprised?
295. Getting what you want or making someone else happy?
296. Being the fastest or being the strongest?
297. Trying something new or doing your favorite thing again?
298. Being listened to or being understood?
299. Being brave when you are scared or being honest when it is hard?
300. Growing up fast or staying your age for a long time?
How to Take This-or-That Questions Deeper
The 300 questions above do something important: they get kids talking. Once your child gets used to picking a side and explaining why, they are practicing something most adults struggle with: putting an inner preference into words.
That said, “burgers or hot dogs?” only goes so far. Once you have played this game a few times, you will notice your kid wants to talk about more than favorites. They have questions about the world, things they have noticed, worries they have not said out loud, dreams they are slightly embarrassed about. This or that questions open the door. Deeper questions walk through it.
That is where Tell Me Cards comes in. A 107-card deck built for ages 5 to 9, with questions designed from a research foundation drawing on the most cited books in child psychology. The questions are not icebreakers. They are prompts like “what do you worry about at night?” or “when did you feel really brave?” that pull something real from your child. The kind of answer you did not know was in them.
Many families use a mix of both. This-or-that at dinner for warmup and fun. Tell Me Cards on longer car rides, at bedtime, or on weekend mornings when there is room for a real conversation. Once your kid gets used to being asked thoughtful questions, they start expecting them, and that is the habit you are actually trying to build.
If you want variations on this format, we also have 100 Funny This or That Questions for silly and absurd pairings, and 100 This or That Food Questions for the dinner-table category. For longer-form open-ended questions instead of binary choices, see our 200 Questions to Ask Kids post.
Frequently Asked Questions
What age are this or that questions for?
This or that questions work for kids as young as 3 or 4, but the sweet spot is ages 5 to 9. By 5, children have enough language to explain their choices. By 9, they are starting to get more reflective and can handle harder questions like the ones in the Feelings and Big Choices category. Younger kids do best with food, animals, and silly categories. Older kids tend to gravitate toward superpowers, hypotheticals, and big choices.
How many questions should we ask at once?
There is no rule, but most families find 3 to 5 questions is the natural stopping point in any one sitting. Kids engage hardest when the game feels like a quick burst rather than a long interview. On road trips or other stuck-together situations, you can go 15 or 20 in a row before energy drops. The sign you have gone too long is when answers start getting short. That is when you stop.
What is the difference between this or that and would you rather?
Both ask your child to pick between two options, so they are close cousins. The main difference is length and complexity. This or that questions are short, usually two or three words per side: “pizza or pasta?” Would you rather questions are longer, often involving a full scenario: “Would you rather have a pet dragon that breathes fire but can’t fly, or a pet pegasus that can fly but is afraid of heights?” This or that is faster and works better for younger kids. Would you rather gets more interesting for kids 7 and up.
Can teachers use these in the classroom?
Yes. This or that works well as a morning meeting question, a transition activity between lessons, or an icebreaker for the first day of school. Most teachers pick one question and go around the circle, letting each student answer. For classrooms, food, animals, and silly categories tend to be the safest bets. Feelings and Big Choices questions can spark richer discussion but may need more scaffolding for group settings.
How do we move past this or that into real conversations?
Start by asking the “why.” Every this-or-that question has a short answer (the choice) and a long answer (the reason). The long answer is where the real conversation happens. From there, if you want to go deeper, pick up a conversation card deck or ask your own open-ended questions. The habit you are building is not really about the game. It is about your child learning that when you ask, you want to actually hear the answer.
Keep the Conversation Going
If your kid loved these, take the next step. Tell Me Cards is a 107-card deck of proprietary conversation cards designed for families with kids ages 5 to 9. Written from a research foundation, organized across seven categories, and built for the everyday moments at dinner, bedtime, or in the car.
